Relationship Stupidity

So, I was drawn into another unpleasant conversation with one of my guy friends last night about a girl that he was trying to date, not wanting to date him. And then he complained about not having sex... and then I got to thinking.... what has society really come to if all we can think about is getting in each other's pants?

So, then I thought back to my own boyfriend. He's one of the nicest guys out there, and our relationship has never been about sex or money. And somehow we're much happier than a lot of couples. So I got to thinking about all the things that maybe other people do wrong in their relationships so I could avoid them, and here's what I came up with:

- Jealousy kills - So I know this is a vicious cycle, but its more of an attention thing. As described by my mother... jealousy in a relationship is a sign that you don't trust your significant other. No matter how much you tell yourself that "it's the other person you don't trust" or "I just worry about them a little sometimes," the truth is that you really don't trust your partner. And a relationship where people don't trust each other is doomed to fail. Trust me, a relationship without jealousy is possible.

- Communication is key - The most important aspect of every relationship is communication. That means, if something happens, don't try to hide it. Talk about the things that bother you, and let the little stuff blow over, knowing that no one is ever going to be perfect. Failure to talk things out or not correct a misunderstanding is why many people break up.

- Sex isn't everything - Contrary to popular belief, sex really isn't everything. If all you're staying with a person for is their body and the good sex, you might as well dump them right now. There are approximately 7 billion people in the world... If you want good looking bodies and good sex, you can easily have a round with at least 1 billion of them at any time, I'm sure. For the rest of you, look for the substance in a person. Looks aren't everything. In fact, intelligence is a rare, but important commodity.

- Money doesn't mean love - Women are the most guilty of this. We expect our man to take us out to eat, fund our expensive and lavish habits, buy us jewelry, clothing and shoes, and still have enough left to give us beautiful birthday presents. But do we really need any of it? You know, I've actually heard men refuse to date women simply because they didn't have the cash to fund the relationship. So, what exactly are they buying? Are they buying our bodies? If so, we're no better than a personal whore. Are they buying our souls? God I hope not, my boyfriend would have a horrible time trying to tame mine. Or are they buying our time? Are we really like parking meters where once they run out of time on us, they have to put more money in to make us stick around? Ladies, if the answer is yes to any of those, and you feel you're entitled to have them buy you for something, you aught to be ashamed to call yourself a woman. For the rest of us... what is it we really want? What is it we really need? Do we just want their attention? Do we just want them to tell us that they like us? So how does money factor in then? Because if your man doesn't stay interested in you even when you're not wearing designer fashion, and making him lick your heels, then maybe the two of you don't really belong together after all...

I'm not love doctor or anything, but those are all things that I've noticed about our world in dating today. Many people do the opposite of all four of those things (coupled with many other aspects), so it's not a surprise to me that our divorce rate in the U.S. is 50% for first time marriages, and even higher for 2nd and 3rd time marriages. We just don't know how to truly love correctly anymore...