Relationship Stupidity

So, I was drawn into another unpleasant conversation with one of my guy friends last night about a girl that he was trying to date, not wanting to date him. And then he complained about not having sex... and then I got to thinking.... what has society really come to if all we can think about is getting in each other's pants?

So, then I thought back to my own boyfriend. He's one of the nicest guys out there, and our relationship has never been about sex or money. And somehow we're much happier than a lot of couples. So I got to thinking about all the things that maybe other people do wrong in their relationships so I could avoid them, and here's what I came up with:

- Jealousy kills - So I know this is a vicious cycle, but its more of an attention thing. As described by my mother... jealousy in a relationship is a sign that you don't trust your significant other. No matter how much you tell yourself that "it's the other person you don't trust" or "I just worry about them a little sometimes," the truth is that you really don't trust your partner. And a relationship where people don't trust each other is doomed to fail. Trust me, a relationship without jealousy is possible.

- Communication is key - The most important aspect of every relationship is communication. That means, if something happens, don't try to hide it. Talk about the things that bother you, and let the little stuff blow over, knowing that no one is ever going to be perfect. Failure to talk things out or not correct a misunderstanding is why many people break up.

- Sex isn't everything - Contrary to popular belief, sex really isn't everything. If all you're staying with a person for is their body and the good sex, you might as well dump them right now. There are approximately 7 billion people in the world... If you want good looking bodies and good sex, you can easily have a round with at least 1 billion of them at any time, I'm sure. For the rest of you, look for the substance in a person. Looks aren't everything. In fact, intelligence is a rare, but important commodity.

- Money doesn't mean love - Women are the most guilty of this. We expect our man to take us out to eat, fund our expensive and lavish habits, buy us jewelry, clothing and shoes, and still have enough left to give us beautiful birthday presents. But do we really need any of it? You know, I've actually heard men refuse to date women simply because they didn't have the cash to fund the relationship. So, what exactly are they buying? Are they buying our bodies? If so, we're no better than a personal whore. Are they buying our souls? God I hope not, my boyfriend would have a horrible time trying to tame mine. Or are they buying our time? Are we really like parking meters where once they run out of time on us, they have to put more money in to make us stick around? Ladies, if the answer is yes to any of those, and you feel you're entitled to have them buy you for something, you aught to be ashamed to call yourself a woman. For the rest of us... what is it we really want? What is it we really need? Do we just want their attention? Do we just want them to tell us that they like us? So how does money factor in then? Because if your man doesn't stay interested in you even when you're not wearing designer fashion, and making him lick your heels, then maybe the two of you don't really belong together after all...

I'm not love doctor or anything, but those are all things that I've noticed about our world in dating today. Many people do the opposite of all four of those things (coupled with many other aspects), so it's not a surprise to me that our divorce rate in the U.S. is 50% for first time marriages, and even higher for 2nd and 3rd time marriages. We just don't know how to truly love correctly anymore...

People To Look Up To

Since I was little, I remember specific people that I always looked up to. Many of them involved national News anchors or people of intellect. Maybe that's why I always strived to work hard in school and always have been turned on by intelligent men. Now, my eyes have been opened wider, but I still have people that I look up to, admire, and love simply for being amazing. Here are some of the amazing people who have been influence my life and our culture without even knowing it:

- Peter Jennings

- Brian Williams

- Charles Gibson

- Barbra Walters

- Peter Jackson

- Richard Taylor

- Jamie Selkirk

- Hayao Miyazaki

- Ron Howard

- Harrison Ford

- Michelle Yeoh

- Vigo Mortensen

- Jackie Chan

- LeVar Burton

- Fred Rogers

- J.K. Rowling

- J.R.R. Tolkien

- Shari Lewis

-Avery Brooks

To all these people, I thank you.

The UK and Guns

So lets face it, the UK has some serious issues with guns. We know for a fact that firearms are illegal in the UK (perhaps a commendable attempt at peace). However, time and time again, we have seen that even law enforcement has been known to act stupidly around firearms in the UK. Let me just say this. Recently there have been many uprisings in the UK over a single incident involving an escaped convict and the police who killed him after a three hour negotiation. The defense that people have put out is that "he was just a boy! They killed a poor boy! He didn't know what he was doing."
The man in question was a 29 year-old adult male, just a month short of turning 30. No 30 year-old person I've ever known considered themselves a "kid" anymore. In fact, in the United States, any person, regardless of sex or race, becomes a full fledged adult at the age of 25. You can smoke, drink, rent a car, hold a job, fly all over the world without an escort, get a permit to own and use a gun, fight and die for your country, look at porn, and go to any movie you damn well please. The only things you can't do at that age are climb the political ladder. So tell me, Britian. Do your citizens only become adults when they start to climb over the hill at 40? Because, regardless of what you say, that 29 year-old man was an adult. He knew the laws and knew damn well what was expected of him to not break them. If a man is old enough to fight for his country, he's old enough to think for himself, period.

The modern double standard

So I was having the oddest conversation with someone today who actually thought that the draft was abolished due to moral purposes. I simply explained that the selective service still very much existed. And then another girl came up and said that the draft was a double standard and how women should be drafted too, which got me thinking about other double standards.

Here are just the few that exist in the modern day.

1. First abortionists. This topic I'm actually really neutral about, but I sway more for the women receiving the abortions, just because of how the opposition acts. Their slogan is pro-life, and so they will go to just about any lengths to make sure the baby isn't harmed. To that I say, what about the mother? Is she really well enough to have the child? Maybe, maybe not. But here's the kicker, these groups also like to assassinate doctors in abortion clinics. Pro-life? Don't make me laugh.

2. Gay marriage. So, from what I've heard, there are a few religious groups as well as other groups who want gay marriage to burn in hell (quite literally). Personally, I don't care one way of the other, it just pisses me off when other people tell each other how to live life. So here's for you, gay pride. One of the groups relates to family values and how having children and staying home to be a house wife is a woman's duty. So they naturally hate gay people because they can't reproduce. Lately though, there have been an increasing number of people calling themselves some sort of naturalists, and refusing to have children because they say it pollutes the world. Not a word from the family group. I've got my eye on you.

3. I recently read a manifesto by Ted Nugent. Believe it or not, I actually kind of liked it, but at one point, he mentions black Americans, saying how he likes them fine and sees them as good people, but hates the liberalists, because basically, they ruin his life. Yet what he doesn't account for is that the black population falls almost 75% into the liberalist bracket. Oops?

That's all for now, but this may become a sequel, so lookout!

What We Least Expect

So going to an art school, I am constantly bombarded with images... Images of other rising artists and artists who have already made their mark, information that no matter how hard I try, I'm just not good enough. I just hardly slip by, never satisfied, never happy, and never quite knowing how to fix what I so dislike about myself and my work. While my boyfriend helps me with the "disliking myself part," I still disliked my work. Here I am, an artist who sucks hard core at drawing and who struggles constantly with the feeling of being strongly inferior to everyone around. And then I read this article. Coupled with a lecture that I attended at my college several weeks before, I'm starting to see that the road isn't so hopeless after all. Sure I've got a hellishly long ways to go, but the road is far from impossible to travel on.